Sorry I’m Late. I Was Stuck In Traffic

Hey there what’s left of my small but devoted fan base of readers eagerly awaiting an update on things that occurred months ago. Sorry to keep you waiting for a new entry, but not really, because I know you weren’t waiting. In the interim, you went out, got married, signed a loan on a nice but modest home on the corner that doesn’t have much of a yard, but it’s in a good neighborhood and you like the school district, so you took it, settled in, had kids, got that promotion, and it’s a good thing too, because braces aren’t cheap, and set up online banking. With all those things going on, how could you find time to read my anemic blog?

I’ll keep this one short, and hopefully, you can fit this little nugget into your schedule. I also apologize for not getting a new entry out sooner. Hell, even Dallas has updated since I last posted. But I have my reasons:

First, this past year has been extremely busy. I think you would agree if I had had time to write about those incendiary times throughout the past eleven months. Unfortunately, I did not, so you will forever be left in the shadows. When I have not been bogged down with work, things have just been hectic overall and not conducive to anything productive.

Second, the lack of an Internet connection played a large part in me not posting anything. Supposedly, there is a whole mess a Internet out here in Californee, but they want you to pay for it. Not being a believer in paying for things that are basic human needs—food, shelter, and Internet—I refused to buy me up any. That’s also why I’ve lost about fifteen pounds and have lived in squalor.

Finally, I’m just damn lazy. I like to write. But like all things you enjoy, you never want to actually do them if you are supposed to. Someone could come up to me and say, “I want you to sit around in air conditioning all day, playing video games, listening to music, having noncommittal sex with an assortment of beautiful women, eat Oreo cookies, and re-alphabetize a movie collection,” and the first thing I would want to do is tar a rooftop under the noontime sun all while doing wind sprints in full Eskimo gear and Crocs.

I won’t lie to you and say this is my return blog and that there will be frequent posts from here on out, although I am going to try to post more often. However, the aforementioned hurdles mentioned above (see: above), are still present. But I will post some of the blogs I wrote over the past few months of latency and hopefully come at you with an ample sampling of more current blog writings.

Keep your eyes to the skies. This blog and the anniversary of my expedition out to California is coming up (one year already!), so expect a retrospective entry some time in 2011.